🌤️ | My Broken Mariko & other thoughts
HELLO WORLD!! I guess this is the de facto first post of this blog... even though it's technically not THE first lol
I really missed writing blogs and I'm hoping the switch to Bear will help with that :D I've always wanted to use this site more extensively but could never find a good use for it... until now!
My Broken Mariko
TW: This work discusses topics related to mental health - including suicide, CSA & other forms of child abuse, S/A, and grief.
last night, I read the manga My Broken Mariko. I've admittedly been putting it off for a while, but I decided to finally delve in as it's a relatively short read. (...or I'm just a really fast reader.)
the protagonist of the story is Tomoyo, who suddenly learns that her dearest friend Mariko has ended her own life... while eating at a ramen restaurant and overhearing the news on TV. this story only gets more insane from here 😭
while navigating the grief from losing Mariko, Tomoyo remembers Mariko's absolutely shitty home life as a teen under the thumb of a physically (and later sexually) abusive father. however, Tomoyo has NO idea where Mariko's cremation urn is. (for those unfamiliar - cremation is a common practice in Japanese culture.)
this spurs her to pay Mariko's parents a visit, ending with a confrontation towards Mariko's father...
in which Tomoyo ANGRILY calls out Mariko's shitty dad for S/Aing his daughter, and basically telling him he has no right to grieve over Mariko's death when he was part of the reason she's dead. AND she even comes prepared with a knife!! and thus, she steals Mariko's urn! she decides to journey to Mariko's dream vacation spot, Marigaoka Cape, to give Mariko the proper send-off she didn't get.
this was such a fun little story. it undoubtedly talks about some extremely heavy subject matter - mental health, trauma, grief, repressed homosexuality, just to name a few. but even so, I found that the balance between the humor of it all and the gravitas of the subject matter was handled extremely well.
I also want to give a bit of context... Tomoyo is a beautiful pathetic butch lesbian failurewoman. like, SO much of the humor comes from Tomoyo making an ass of herself, but also doing what she can to look after her dearest Mariko.
she is like this, the ENTIRE manga. and it is GLORIOUS.
I just love when characters get to be messy people, especially in response to a life-altering event. and I especially love that for Tomoyo, because everything about her is so unexpected! Japan is notoriously really weird about gender roles, especially when it comes to women - so seeing a manga where a woman gets to be not only an imperfect person, but also someone who basically acts like the functioning alcoholic fratbro-turned-desk job worker... is AMAZING to me.
Tomoyo's love for Mariko is also a shining element of the story. I won't spoil too much about the story, but let's say that Tomoyo has been known to beat the shit out of crappy guys for Mariko's sake, and... they probably would've been better off as girlfriends, but heteronormativity is a real cock-blocker!
the dynamic between Tomoyo and Mariko, however, adds so much to the story. I feel that a lot of queer existence involves loneliness and grief. it is rather common for queer people to lament how they spent their childhood & teenhood pretending to be something they're not. on a wider scale, there has been an undeniable death toll due to homophobic / transphobic violence of all kinds, and that's not even mentioning how common PTSD and anxiety disorders are amongst LGBT+ populations.
that's part of why I genuinely loved My Broken Mariko - I feel like it is a beautiful encapsulation of queer grief, without being completely nihilistic and doomer-ish. it's not a subject matter to be treated lightly, it IS a genuine tragedy, but it also shows how grief and moving on works in funny ways. in a world where LGBT+ folks often have to grieve the loss of other LGBT+ lives, I feel like a good sense of humor, good self-care, and a willingness to move forward for the people you love, both dead and alive, is important to have.
one of the most impactful lines in the story comes from Makio, a straggler that Tomoyo befriends as she enters Marigaoka. Makio tries to help out Tomoyo as she is very visibly struggling, and comes to remind her to take care of herself.
Tomoyo also beats the shit out of a guy who's known for S/Aing local women, and that alone makes this story worth reading. good for her!!!!
Other Thoughts
uhhh... not much :P
I've been really into Tomodachi Life lately! it was my favorite game when I was 13, and I played pretty much non-stop for over a year. a few months back I decided to make a new save, complete with the gender removal mod... and THEN the gay mod just dropped which basically meant I HAD to come back and play more 😭 this is truly my ideal Tomodachi Life... for years I've wanted the same game, but without strict gender choices or forced heterosexuality. and NOW... I HAVE IT!!! and I am SO HAPPY!!
the only thing I have to complain about is that I really wish Tomolife had Miitopia's wig/makeup system as well as a wider assortment of colors when designing Miis... but alas 😔 I guess that's something to worry about when Living the Dream drops next year!
also the funniest shit happened in-game. I should add, I am aroace, and so is my OC Saturn. ....................... my Mii asked out Saturn and they got married within like a day. I can't even be upset about this... I used to get SO upset when my TL Mii fell in love, but like... it is endlessly hilarious to me that the two aroaces got MARRIED. absolutely beautiful. thanks, tomodachi life. and happy pride!!!